Courageous Love and Involvement Saves the Family, But We Are Working Towards More!
06 Dec 2016
by, Katie Skoloff
As a ten-year parent of two inherited boys who are my only children, I have encountered what feels like almost every legality in regards to being their father’s wife and their other mom. With a take-charge personality and with the full support of my husband, I have sought out a lot of responsibility with our boys- from PTA to carpool, to room-mom, team mom, doctor’s appointments… you name it, I went for it. It was scary at times because I was worried about whether or not it would “stir pots”, but I did it to get to know the other parents and the children with whom my boys were associating. It also made for meaningful conversations with my children and my husband. When getting involved with We Are Families, I learned about what our legal boundaries actually are as the non-biological parent. The laws are somewhat discouraging but this just another reason why change and social acceptance for non-bio parents are such important causes to me, personally. We are working to change this.
The simplest way to think of how we non-biological parents have rights within our own family is basically parallel to a grand parent. There are little rights when it comes to legally signing for or acting on behalf of a parent, but that does not mean that we need to shy away from our moral responsibilities as a parents to our children- to raise them with love, boundaries, good character and to attend their school and extracurricular activities when family involvement is encouraged. Showing your children that you care by setting a good example for them in ways of your personal involvement and behavior is key to gaining the respect of all- your spouse, your children, and the community. There are really a lot of impactful things that we can do to be actively involved in our kids lives. People will be impressed by your courage and caring! Try the PTA general meetings as a start and just introduce yourself to other parents- there are more and more fathers in PTA these days too. Another idea is to help bring snacks to team events or volunteer to help with classroom events at the beginning of the school year when sign-ups go around. Giving of your time is not always easy but it is SO rewarding. Getting to know your children better out in public will always pay back with positive. Don’t give up and stay in those childrens’ lives! They need you and you are part of their family- show them you care by being there for them!