Is it the “Doing” or is it the “Delivery”? Happy Mother’s Day to ALL Mothers!

08 May 2017

By….Lisa, Mom and WAF Founder

When I think back to ALL of the things I hear people thank their Moms (and Dads) for, it usually goes like this:

Thank you for:

Loving me

Feeding me

Listening to me

Taking care of me when I am upset

Driving me all over creation, and feeding my friends

Providing me opportunities

Putting up with me

Putting your needs last to teach and love me

Always being there physically and emotionally

Teaching

Not backing down when you shouldn’t

Trusting me to try

Being there when I fail, and to let me know I am safe

You get my point? No one says in a Mother’s Day card, “thank you for delivering me”.  You know why?  Because the reality is that the tiny part of growing and delivering a child is not only a tiny percentage of their experience, but the least important. Good, happy children become good, happy humans (or at least the chance at it) by 100% of the day to day patience, sacrifice, awareness, commitment, unconditional love, sweat and tears.  It is HARD work.  HARD.  And it never stops; love is the doing, not the delivery.  So I ask this:  “why do we have a separate day for ‘stepmothers’?”  YES.  (Side note….there is no separate “adoptive mother’s day”….because they DO, and didn’t deliver…think that one through). Can you believe this?  It is the Sunday after Mother’s Day, as if to reinforce that we could never love, care for, and work for our kids as much as someone who, in some cases, has only the distinction of having delivered the child.  We all know that is just where the story begins in raising happy, healthy, productive children to adulthood. It’s doing the GOOD STUFF that’s GOOD for the kids.  It is in these 18+ years where your motherhood stripes are earned.

For many of you out there, I know this is going to be a very tough day. Yep-you have given every last bit of your love, soul, heart….to possibly be ignored-because of one, tiny, nuance to how your kids arrived in this world. You are NOT alone, and you are worthy of celebrating Mother’s Day. Do you love, care, feed, provide, nurture, worry, as much as you can?  Then go forward. Celebrate! Be proud of the mom you are, even if it’s just you knowing that.  I am proud of you, and above all-the important thing is, you gave selflessly to your kids-because you did it knowing that you may not be celebrated on this day.  And that, makes you a Mother.